


Slowly Mending Back Together Again

by Monpetitecherie



Category: Parks and Recreation
Genre: Angst, F/M, Friendship, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Panic Attacks, Self-Harm, Self-Harm Recovery, ill be updating tags as the story progresses lmfao, yaaay
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-15
Updated: 2020-11-15
Packaged: 2021-03-09 20:29:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,232
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27582071
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Monpetitecherie/pseuds/Monpetitecherie
Summary: Self harm recovery wasn't easy, but he knew it was possible; it would just take a lot of time, love, and trust in himself.
Relationships: Leslie Knope/Ben Wyatt
Comments: 6
Kudos: 10





	1. Author's Note **please read**

Hey guys!

After 2 months, a sequel has arrived haha. If you haven't read the first part, I'd highly suggest reading it (if you're comfortable with the topic that is). 

Here's the link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26471587/chapters/64504015

~

So before the story begins, I would like to go over a few things with y'all:

1\. This fic is just going to be a bunch of one shots since recovery for mental health doesn't happen overnight; it takes a lot of time and has its ups and downs. 

2\. I don't know how often the story will be updated. I'll try my best to update every two weeks or so but no promises.

3\. If there's something specific you'd like to see, please feel free to comment and share your ideas!

4\. Sorry guys but still not taking constructive criticism (plz don't hate me I'm sorry)! This fic is only for fun, I'm not trying to perfect my writing or anything.

5\. I'm not feeling as inspired as I was with the first fic so not sure how well the stories will turn out :/ Sorry if I disappoint y'all.

Without further adieu, let's get started! I hope you guys enjoy :)

\- monpetitecherie


	2. Attack

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben has a panic attack and April tells Leslie something oOoOOooO

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Trigger warnings - panic attack, referenced self harm**

“Hey Andy can you hand me those papers? Just over there,” Ben asked and pointed to his desk. Andy, who was eagerly spinning on his rolling chair, skidded to a halt and handed him the pile.

“Here ya go!” he chirped and continued whirling. 

Ah yes, nothing like a good organizing session around the office to clear his mind. He found himself cleaning a lot more recently; it brought a sense of relief and distraction to him. Ever since his discussion with Leslie about his self-destructive habits, Ben kept his hands and his mind busy at all times. And no, nothing sex related, get your mind out of the gutter. He went on runs with Chris (but would end up running less than a mile and walk the rest of the way), doodled with April, listened to Andy perform (Andy _insisted_ he hear him play), discussed gift ideas for his wife and other topics with Ann, and spent quality time with Leslie. Occasionally he’d have a drink or two with Ron but that was only if he felt overwhelmed with responsibilities and just needed to drink his problems away. Things were going pretty well, if he didn’t say so himself.

As Ben picked up a paper clip to combine the sheets together, his chest tightened. The world started spinning and he fell on his hands and knees struggling for air, the papers falling around him like a snowstorm. 

“Oh my god, Ben are you okay?” Andy worriedly asked and stopped spinning. He got up and rushed toward him, but not too close, in case Ben needed his space. Through his gasping and trembling, Ben managed to nod his head. It had been a while since he had a panic attack, let alone a surprise one like this. 

“Ahh shit what did April do when you were having one of these?”

_Just get her_ he thought; Ben hoped Andy could read his mind or something, it was hard for him to speak. The walls seemed to be closing in, and perspiration glistened on his forehead. His mind and body became tired very quickly; he forgot how draining panic attacks were. All he wanted to do was sleep right now.

“Uhh just try to take deep breaths, man. April! It’s happening again!” he frantically hollered and dashed out the room to retrieve his wife. Ben took Andy’s advice and tried to focus on getting his breathing back to normal.

_Inhale, exhale, inhale, exhale,_ he repeated in his mind. Ben rolled over to his side in exhaustion and shut his eyes tightly, hoping to cure his dizziness. Short, labored breaths struggled to connect and form one normal gasp of air. He curled his body closer into a ball before knocking out cold.

-

Leslie walked into Ben’s office to find him passed out on the floor, along with Andy lying down a couple feet away from him, and April propped against his desk. Papers were scattered everywhere, most stacked in piles on his desk.

“What-” she started, but April shushed her. 

“Can’t you see he’s sleeping??” she silently asked, fiddling with a pair of scissors she had retrieved from a small cardboard box next to her.

“Leslie come join us! We’re having a floor party,” Andy exclaimed, using his “inside voice”.

“What happened?” Leslie whispered, taking a seat next to her husband. She carefully lifted his head and rested it on her lap, as the floor wasn’t very comfortable for lying down on. 

“He had another panic attack. He was like that on the ground by the time we arrived so I just put all the sharp objects I could find in here just in case he woke up or something and y’know,” she explained, shaking the box. Leslie understandingly nodded. There was an awkward silence before Andy decided to speak. 

“Okay, well this floor party was fun!”

“You know I saw him cutting once,” April blurted, her eyebrows raising in surprise as if she didn’t realize the words that came out of her mouth. 

“April! You weren’t supposed to tell anyone that!” Andy sternly whispered and his eyes got wide. Ben trusted them with his deepest darkest secret and she just told someone about it!

“No, no Andy it’s fine,” Leslie reassured and turned to face April, “You did?” 

“Yeah. I found him on the kitchen floor, and he was crying, and there was blood everywhere. He kept slicing up here,” she explained, tossing the scissors back in the box then demonstrating cutting motions on her left forearm, “Usually I find blood and guts really interesting but...watching him do it made me kinda sick inside. It was pretty scary. I dunno, I figured you should know about it.”

“Did you help him?” It was an extremely stupid question, Leslie knew that, but it didn’t hurt to ask. 

“Obviously! I’m not a heartless jerk you know. Besides, Ben is my friend and I think he’s kinda cool, and he shouldn’t have to hurt himself because of his shitty past; he’s in the present and should realize how awesome things are and how awesome he is.” April’s eyes widened, “I’ve said too much.” She didn’t like revealing her true feelings for people, it made her seem weak.

“Aww April,” Leslie gushed and smiled sincerely. On the outside, one may assume she was death in human form, but she knew deep down that dark abyss, April had a heart of gold and cared deeply for her loved ones. 

“Okay we’re leaving now bye,” she quickly muttered and rushed out of the room in hopes of avoiding a mushy-gushy bonding moment. Andy followed right behind, waving bye to Leslie before stepping out and closing the door behind him. She exhaled and looked down at Ben (who was still dead to the world) and ran her fingers through his hair in a soothing motion. During the course of the past few weeks, his mental health seemed to be improving; well at least that’s what she assumed. He seemed to smile more and be more social than he used to; it filled her heart with joy. 

Hopefully the road ahead would stay as smooth as it was now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lmao that was such a random spot to complete this chapter. Ben doesn't even wake up in the end (he's fine don't worry). 
> 
> Uhh but thanks for reading y'all kudos and comments are always welcome :)


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